i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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