these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
