I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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