i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he was CRYING into my vagina
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize