if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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