The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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