Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
