ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
