I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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