I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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