Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
