You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
