I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
