ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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