So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize