So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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