So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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