There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
