I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
