Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
