Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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