I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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