just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it hurts more in the daytime
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You did what with his pubic hair?
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