hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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