being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
