I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
