He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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