Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize