Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
that may or may not have been my penis.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
