I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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