I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
