So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
