We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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