I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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