I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
