So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
