walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
