Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
