i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.