we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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