I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
