My first STD was from a foam party
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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