I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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