Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize