Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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