Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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