And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
