I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I smell like Dick and happiness
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