it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
