If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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