Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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