But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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