I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
