yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
