dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
