if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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