I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
