I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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